10
WAYS TO ANNOY A FREELANCER
Award-winning writer Judy Waytiuk (www.wordsink.ca) gives an idea of what freelancing can be like…
Ten Ways
An Editor Can Cheese Off A Freelancer
by Judy Waytiuk
(Note that every single one of these things happens, often routinely!)
1. Completely ignore the query, then phone up ten months later and breathlessly inquire if the writer could do the piece and send it in this Monday. If the writer tells you he's on deadline for three other stories and can't possibly squeeze it in, act utterly affronted, then ask why did he bother sending in a query if he's too busy to do the work?
2. Assign the story, then fail to send a contract until two days before the editorial deadline.
3. Make sure that contract is an all-rights, work-for-hire version in which even moral rights revert to your magazine-- even though you told the writer you would just ask for FNASR. Even better, knock down the per-word rate that was agreed upon by at least ten percent, and scribble a little note that, contrary to what you'd told the writer originally, your magazine will not cover long-distance phone research costs.
4. Ensure the freelancer toils through at least three re-writes in which you have the writer change material, then change it again because although you now like it, others reviewing it have additional questions arising out of the fact that the changes you requested dropped the information that would have answered those questions. Then make the writer change it all back to the way it was in the first place.
5. Insert numerous changes in the final copy that change accurate facts into complete inaccuracies. Try to mangle the titles and quotes of at least two interview subjects, so they'll blame the writer for getting it wrong and be reluctant to talk to the writer ever again.
6. A few days before deadline, contact the writer and insist that the story focus be revised to reflect a complete misconception about the story topic, which surfaced in a casual coffee machine encounter the editor had with an intern who thinks he knows more than the writer does about the story, because he read a questionably-sourced website page about the subject.
7. Insist that the writer supply original, not duplicate slides, for the art department. Then lose them.
8. Send the cheque for the work at least two months after the publication date. This way, the writer can go unpaid for a year or more. But hey, no problem-- writers don't need money to survive. They live off the fat they accumulate on press trips.
9. Tell the writer the story was brilliantly-written, perfectly-researched, you absolutely loved it, and you will make sure you contact the writer first if there are ever any more stories in his area of specialty or his region. Then use other writers instead, even though they're don't have anywhere near the quality and professionalism of the writer you praised so highly.
10. Contact the writer who sent you a fantastic query, and who clearly has the background and experience to do a great job on the story, and tell that writer you love the idea and will assign it to a staff person to write, and could the writer provide the staffer a complete list of research material and interview subjects-- and their e-mails and phone numbers.
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